Mariposa: I am very interested in your take on things. One of the themes that comes up repeatedly in my W and my MC sessions is the mother/child dynamic, which I think actually began as a professor/student dynamic. My W actually was a professor when I met her, but I was 12 years out of school. Still, I was a bit intimidated by her profession.
I'm definitely making progress on climbing out of this dynamic. She is having a tough time of it, however. Why am I suddenly not seeking approval from her? Where do I get off being so self-assured?
Superdave, I don't know if you read this post of mine a while back about the time my W said something nasty to me. I turned to her and said, "Why would you say that to me? How is it that you think it is okay to treat me with such disrespect?" I couple those words with a request to be dropped off at home (she was driving and we were on the way to the zoo for a fun day with out DD4). Well, she didn't drop me off, but after many minutes of silence, she tried to be chatty. We eventually ended up spending a nice day at the zoo, and she treated me decently for, oh, maybe a week.
She's back to being a crab sometimes, but now I keep my tools handy. The tools are: 1. "don't treat me with disrespect." 2. Stay out of HER sh!t. 3. Allowing her bad behavior gives her a reason not to respect me, so don't allow it. 4. If I give her information, and she reacts badly to it, that's HER deal, not mine. I am not responsible for how she reacts to what I say. She is. (This assumes that I don't tell her things with bad intent).
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I appreciate your viewpoint, Mariposa. Superdave: listen to this lady.
