Sorry you are finding yourself in this place. Just remember you have tried very hard to work on this and in the end you do desreve to be happy.
The thing I think sucks is it sounds like she is playing games. Like oh I may lose him so I will try to be affectionate. Once hooked and hopeful again then I can go right back to my comfortable shell again.
Maybe you should go up to that house and stay for a couple weeks. Maybe that would distance yourself right now and show her for once that you mean business.
