I agree with Jo. It sounds like this has got you down, but I think we can all admit that we've made gains in how we've emotionally handled the situation, even if we aren't ready to admit we haven't moved on.
Here's my update. My X came over last night. Kind of just waltzed right in and I happened to be changing clothes so was in my underwear. She was going to get some of her stuff and pack up more of her remaining junk. For the most part I continued to just clean house.
Anyway, I'm not sure what possessed me, but I asked her, "what's going on with you".
She said "nothing, why?"
I beat around the bush for a bit, then said "You've changed. Your not the person you were before and I worry about you and your kids. I told her I'd seen her "blog" because she left the site on my computer. I told her I thought while she had changed that it wasn't for the better. That she seemed directionless to me. She didn't say a whole lot except to indicate that she wasn't the same person anymore. I said I was sorry it sounded harsh, but I didn't want someone I care about looking back in five years and wondering what the hell to do with her life.
I don't exactly know what I was thinking. It really isn't any of my business and I had no right to say that stuff. I called her back and told her so and apologized. The reality is that she is directionless. What possible future could the internet give you...meeting people under false pretenses and just making assumptions about the people your chatting with...assuming or at the very least hoping that it's a celebrity that will take you away from all your problems and somehow you'll just have a happy little family. Blah. Oh well, she needs to find her own way.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
