Sorry Kevin. I would have given you a call, but my cell died and I forgot to pack the charger. I'm sorry I didn't get ahold of you.
I was so beat (and drunk) after the game that it was all she wrote for the night anyway. We left Christmas day to drive back so I couldn't go out that day/night. I was already on the road.
I promise to get that beer next time we are in the neighborhood which hopefully won't be too long. I've been meaning to see a friend in Denver again.
So I hope you aren't feeling too rejected.
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches."
The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied "6."
The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."
At this point the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, "What is it?"
The husband said "She also stole a can of peas."
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Yep Wes, it was another Christmas from hell to add to my collection (2001, 2002 and 2003 were worse). Never mind, though. I reinvented Christmas.
We watched loads of Christmas movies and I baked a pie which was so huge that there is still half of it in the fridge. We have been eating it for 2 days and will do tomorrow too.
I saw this film called 'The Chance of Snow' which is a Christmas film about a divorcing couple who get stranded at a airport and are forced to confront their issues and end up being reconciled just in time for Christmas! It's a bit airy fairy but it has some great advice in it about M, like there is no such thing as romance dying, it's just that people stop being romantic, and if you want XW/H to take you back, then you have to be the way that drew them to you in the first place, keep wooing them to keep the love alive.
And in this film, the H had had a one night stand, hence the divorce, and it talked about both parties needing to acknowledge their role in the affair and the W's failings that led to the H cheating.
I thought it was all really profound. I'd really recommend that film because around the story was a lot of DB'ing.
The 2 women characters were called Maddie and Kat, which freaked me out a little as Maddie is EX-OW2 and Kat was EA 1 in my M, so that was a bit of a weird coincidence.
Go and rent it out from the DVD store, it's great.
So anyway, I watched that and DD4 watched some kids films and she got to wear her party dress. Then in the evening after she went to bed, I got merry on Rum and Coconut.
Who says Christmas has to be on the 25th? They don't know when he was born anyway.
Quote The subject of this post is "The lies we tell ourselves?" It's a question because I don't know the truth of it. I often write and often read about moving on, coming to terms with the divorce, not taking the ex back if he/she crawled over broken glass begging for another chance unless I was sure about her own personal growth, or how things are actually better without them. Are these truths or just clever lies we tell ourselves in our efforts to aid the healing process? Are we ready to move to surviving the Big D?
I am all over the place with my emotions, for a few days I know that moving on is best, I am attracted to other women. THEN BAM! I wake up, wondering, what if she got on the right meds and got C, would she be like the women I fell in love with or would she be better. Or would she do it to me again, fall of the wagon and start screwing around?
One day I am attracted to other women, even thinking about dating someone, then they say or do something, a red flag goes up and I change my mind. How ------- long is it going to take to know what I want? When I figure it out will there be anybody there for me?
One after the D and 1.5 yrs since OM1, I am no longer losing sleep or constantly thinking about the sit., but I am far from a happy camper. Very easily upset, very skeptical of any R, I am no longer comfortable with the R with my DD16.
In my case I don't know if I lie to myself about moving on, but this crap has left a hole in my heart the size of the grand canyon (well maybe thats a lie) and I wish for this feeling to go away. Sometimes I think if I had a SL with no strings attached, ei no mixing of bills, disciplining children, no wonder whos turn to take out the garbage or mow the lawn (when it was 95 with 110% humidity, I was elected everytime) I would be happy.
Maybe some fine wine, dinner a dance or two, then a "wild night" . I go home or she goes home and we don't stick our nose into the "stupid word wars of marriage", we belong to each other, meaning we are loyal and faithful, but no controlling each other. If she wants to keep her house a mess, run her AC and Heat in the same day its ok. If she wants to buy three heads of lettuce and let them spoil its ok. I just think I want an attractive lady to love me, have a fulfilling SL with, have fun with and romance. I don't want to be responsible for any of her "stuff". But this idea is in competition with my religious beliefs. Is it possible to be married and not deal with each others, shall we say, "dirty laundry".
You sound depressed. You are clearly not ready to date if you have these feelings that you wouldn't want to do bills etc with partner. That is part of M and your XW messed you up so much you are obviously not ready for another R. Don't beat yourself up about it.
One day when the scars have healed and you fall in love, you'll know she is it and you'll love her so much you won't care about the past.
For myself, I just want a husband who is loyal, doesn't shout at me all the time, likes my company, supports my writing (emotionally), wouldn't mind having a family with someone who already had one and gave me a regular SL. That's all I want in life and I don't think it's too much to ask to have family, but unfortunately there's no one out there who wants me.
So I just say to myself that I am single against my will and there's nothing I can do, but if that is God's plan for me, then so be it. I try not to get bitter about it, but it's darn lonely sometimes, so I know why you're hurting.
Quote: Sorry Kevin. I would have given you a call, but my cell died and I forgot to pack the charger. I'm sorry I didn't get ahold of you.
I was so beat (and drunk) after the game that it was all she wrote for the night anyway. We left Christmas day to drive back so I couldn't go out that day/night. I was already on the road.
This is sounding very "It's not you, it's me". What's next, Me, "I like you, but I'm not in like with you anymore"? Or will it be "I never really liked you. It just seemed like what I should do."
Well, it's okay, my friend. As we speak, I'm GAL and going to stop all pursuit of you. Oh sure, I'm down about it, but I'm going to act "As If" everything is fine in my world. In fact, the world is my oyster.
I'm even going to do a 180 and "Love the Jake" with Betsey instead of you. I can see that trying to meet you was a cheeseless tunnel.
I agree with Jo. It sounds like this has got you down, but I think we can all admit that we've made gains in how we've emotionally handled the situation, even if we aren't ready to admit we haven't moved on.
Here's my update. My X came over last night. Kind of just waltzed right in and I happened to be changing clothes so was in my underwear. She was going to get some of her stuff and pack up more of her remaining junk. For the most part I continued to just clean house.
Anyway, I'm not sure what possessed me, but I asked her, "what's going on with you".
She said "nothing, why?"
I beat around the bush for a bit, then said "You've changed. Your not the person you were before and I worry about you and your kids. I told her I'd seen her "blog" because she left the site on my computer. I told her I thought while she had changed that it wasn't for the better. That she seemed directionless to me. She didn't say a whole lot except to indicate that she wasn't the same person anymore. I said I was sorry it sounded harsh, but I didn't want someone I care about looking back in five years and wondering what the hell to do with her life.
I don't exactly know what I was thinking. It really isn't any of my business and I had no right to say that stuff. I called her back and told her so and apologized. The reality is that she is directionless. What possible future could the internet give you...meeting people under false pretenses and just making assumptions about the people your chatting with...assuming or at the very least hoping that it's a celebrity that will take you away from all your problems and somehow you'll just have a happy little family. Blah. Oh well, she needs to find her own way.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
JM--One of the local sportscasters said this morning that they're releasing the tickets first (by about 5-10 minutes) at the box office... they expect the tix to go in a half hour or less.
Good luck! Let me know if you'll be wearing some blue and orange paint and I'll watch you from the comfort of my living room.
I hope they aren't playing when I have to head to Greeley for D11's volleyball tournaments. Ugh.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
. I go home or she goes home and we don't stick our nose into the "stupid word wars of marriage", we belong to each other, meaning we are loyal and faithful, but no controlling each other. If she wants to keep her house a mess, run her AC and Heat in the same day its ok.
Bets