You sound depressed. You are clearly not ready to date if you have these feelings that you wouldn't want to do bills etc with partner. That is part of M and your XW messed you up so much you are obviously not ready for another R. Don't beat yourself up about it.
One day when the scars have healed and you fall in love, you'll know she is it and you'll love her so much you won't care about the past.
For myself, I just want a husband who is loyal, doesn't shout at me all the time, likes my company, supports my writing (emotionally), wouldn't mind having a family with someone who already had one and gave me a regular SL. That's all I want in life and I don't think it's too much to ask to have family, but unfortunately there's no one out there who wants me.
So I just say to myself that I am single against my will and there's nothing I can do, but if that is God's plan for me, then so be it. I try not to get bitter about it, but it's darn lonely sometimes, so I know why you're hurting.
