For inquiring minds (if there are any), I went on a date last night. And know what? I had fun. Talking with her was very easy. The good thing is I think she pretty much wants no more than I do, someone to do things with and just enjoy the company of.
As always seems inevitable, the topic of relationships came up. She wondered whether I'd go though a midlife crisis (she thought her XH had) and after careful consideration I didn't think that going through that kind of thing would really be necessary for me. If anything, this experience has given me opportunity enough to do the soulsearching and exploring that seems to be an underlying theme in MLC. I don't care that I'm getting older. I don't feel old, act old, or wish I could relive my college days, and I don't have a driving need to see if I can pick up 20 year olds.
Which brings me to a point I want to make about leaving the door open a crack to the X. I'm not sure that's possible, nor is it fair to yourself or the person you are seeing. The X is done. That marriage and relationship is over. It's my opinion that even considering the possibility that the XS will want to try again is an obstacle to really keeping an open mind about a meaningful relationship with someone else. It takes time to shut the door completely; I don't have any illusions about that, but the intent to slam the door completely closed at least needs to be there. I've read through that chapter of marriage, through the fights, the pain, and clear through the chapter of divorce. The next chapter has to be trying again with someone else without looking back at those previous chapters except to remind myself what not to do this time around.
Anyway, enough musing. Time to work.
Have a good day all.
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
