Quote: I used to be fooled by this. I wanted to believe that maybe he was mellowing and seeing the light. Then we would ask for something and he would go off. I believe that as long as they do this they are not anywhere near the end of their little crisis!
I felt the same way which brings me to BigAl's statement.
Quote:
J_M expressed something that I worry about a bit. I don't want to be sucked into waiting for something in this process. Nor do I want to become aloof simply because it is not a good thing for the children and it would be, for me, a mean way to be. In a way, we have started again at step one in building some sort of R between us only this time, the outcome is not something that could be delightful and wished for (or at least, not as delightful).
I feel I have no choice but to be aloof and I don't like it one bit. It is an emotional and personal protection defense mechanism.
However,
how will we know when their crisis is over in order to re-build at least some kind of R. I used to think, I could just forgive and forget. No apology on her part was necessary. Now, I demand one. That's the only way I'll know for sure that she has re-possessed her faculties.
H*ll will freeze over first before that happens. So aloofness it is for the forseeable future.
