I bent over backwards to keep it amicable and in the process was repeatedly burned. Curious thing, that. She was quite nice to me most of the time...as long as I was giving her what she wanted. Once I said no, the threats and intimidation would start.
Real friendship is not possible with that dynamic. I have found it best to detach. That solution is imperfect as well as she has finally figured it out and doesn't like that one bit either.
I don't know what other choice I have. We have children together. Fighting serves no purpose and I certainly won't abandon them in order to avoid her.
I believe the worst is over for now...and it was bad. The next test will be when I develop a new R. I don't expect her to be silent and wouldn't be surprised if the old tried and true method of hinting at legal intimidation for some perceived grievance gets thrown at me again.
Discussing custody:
"I'm going to get a judge and have the kids taken from you"
Discussing a love letter I wrote where she got upset that I wrote it and I tried to calm her down.
"You COULD have been violent and hit me"
Discussing custody again:
"I was talking with my mother about whether you would molest our daughter"
Discussing why she broke a verbal agreement regarding our children's right to self-determination with their own bodies.
"I grew up in a family where my mother didn't have to tell my father every little thing about the kids"
Disagreement over discipline for a child not eating what's on plate
"I wanted to scratch your eyes out"
blah blah blah
Oh, and this only enraged her further:
"I'm sorry you feel that way"
You should have seen the email flames one night when I thanked her showing confidence in my abilities as father. Suddenly, it got vicious. So I replied "I guess I'll just have to try harder." It went back and forth like that several times and she would only get more irate. Surreal!
Friends?...I'd rather sleep with a rattlesnake, at least there is a warning before they strike.
