No problem BigAl, you can use this as your thread also. It's not like I post about myself. It's more like a discussion forum.
Yeah, I was in the same boat as you Al, a separation and divorce without bitterness and actually for awhile a pretty decent friendship. It was too hard on me and I swung back and forth...can't be friends..can be friends...can't be friends, and I think my XW is likely to the point where she'd prefer avoiding the drama. I think we've settled into a less friendly area, but the major advantage is it's much easier to detach. Perhaps if you are incredibly patient and not expect more, something will come of the relationship. I definitely think that one that ends in animosity and bitterness has a worse chance. I just couldn't do it anymore. The touching, the hugs, the doing things as a couple were just too difficult to handle. I'm glad that you could part at least amicably. At the very least it will help the kids adjust.
For me, I'm more at the point where I'd like a friendship of some sort, where we can talk and her kids can visit, but I no longer want more than that. Getting her back is no longer in my goals. It just wouldn't enhance my life.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
