Quote:

It is important to choose our partnerships consciously.



That's interesting. I have the sneaking suspicion that I did no such thing. I mean, I met a girl, we went out, we enjoyed each other's company and we escalated almost immediatly. Seems to me that there wasn't any thought about whether it was a good choice on either of our parts. Hmmmm.

Anyway, while I have you all here. I just gotta wonder what it means when you are divorced and amicable. I know so many of you have experienced bitterness and revenge tactics and all of that, but there has been none for me. Not after the bomb, not during the separation, not during the divorce process, not now. I made a few decisions based on the idea that I could still trust my X and that she was a good person (for example during the D process), and I was rewarded by her being even more generous than I expected.

Neither of us seem to be mad. I am, of course, deeply sad, but not angry. I don't know how she feels since we do not discuss these things, but the general impression from her behaviour is that she is not sad and also certainly not angry.

We have the children factor and joint custody, but we behave towards each other in much the same way we did for most of our marriage. We go over board to sacrifice our wants in order to be nice to the other. The R dynamic hasn't really changed that much in other words.

And I understand the letting go and moving on and all that. I can see the problems with our marriage and would not want to resurrect it the way it was say 10 months ago, but I would like some clarity about "us". In many ways, I am the same boat as you were Wes (um I mean, Just_Me) and I'm not getting it.

I don't believe I am in a position to get into a new R right now since I am still mourning my marriage. I don't believe it is wise or healthy to operate on the assumption that some reconciliation is eminent or even probable. I am not mistaking niceness for romantic love. I'm just confused, as usual.

How's that for hijack? I suppose I should start my own thread over here some day.