Andy will never marry again. I know that. His values have changed. At best, he would have a commitment ceremony, and that includes with me. He would never marry me either, so I'm not scared of that.
I'm not waiting for him, but I'm not actively looking for a man either, if that makes sense. If I stay single, I stay single.
The only thing that really hurts me is the idea of not ever being able to hug someone and ask how their day has been, or go to a movie and hold hands, or make love all night blah blah blah, and not being able to have more children.
He took 3 of my children. I definitely want more. If I do stay single, I will embark upon IVF, and believe me, that isn't cheap. I've looked into it, and if I donate more eggs, it would cost me �500. If I don't, you're talking thousands.
I decided to wait till I'm 32, and if I don't have an R by then, I will ask for IVF, as I think the cut off age is 36. I would be desolate if I never had a sibling for DD4, she is like an only child here most of the time and it isn't fair to her. It isn't fair to me, either.
I don't know what will happen to me. Like any woman I want love, but people don't always get what they want, and men do sometimes get put off by my disability even though it shouldn't matter. I don't get tons of offers, LOL.
