The not coming over and stuff occurred before I said that about taking her things and that I didn't want to see her anymore, but your point is well taken...it's probably both ways.
The problem is that in some respects I want to try again, but in many respects I don't. There are many things very unattractive about her (and I'm not talking about her looks...although she does look about 10 years older). Believe me, if she's done work it's been to undo a special person she was and replace it with the persona of a woman I wouldn't even ask on a date, much less form a long term relationship with. I would have to see a lot of changes before I would risk a R with her. I seriously feel at this time that she would take away rather than add to a R.
So my current feeling is the only way that we have a future together is if the dynamic changes completely. She needs to want a relationship and actually WORK to acheive that. There won't be any hand-outs from me. So given those limitations, it's highly probable that we are done. I'm learning to accept that. I'm happy again. I'm enjoying the time I get to spend with my kids and with friends and at work.
My goals have really evolved. While the door is still open a crack to her, for the most part a new relationship with her isn't a goal I'm working towards. My goals are related to personal growth. And while at some point I would like to date and find someone to share time with, I am no longer convinced that my XW is a better choice than other women. As she is now, she's a worse choice.
Gabe, I did get the picture. Thanks. Check your e-mail.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
