Agony. No words to describe it. This is my first post which I am making out of desperation to accept my present reality which is SOOOOO far away from what I once had and where I want to be.
Quick facts: common law wife and I together 18 years, last 3 of that seperated. 2 kids, D17, S13, she kicked me out 3 years ago after not being able to get over my drunken one-night stand, which happened while sort-of seperated eight years after her telling me she was dying of cancer in order to have a child. I have been trying forever to get her into counseling to develop trust and honesty in our relationship. We first met with MIchelle 2 months ago and have had three phone sessions.
Wife had not been seeing anyone else these past three years. I dated once two years ago, and then decided my wife is the only woman in the world for me.
Last night was first time I saw her with another man. Sitting face to face on his lap passionately kissing....
My god how do I deal with this?
We are about to have our fourth telephone session with Michelle. W is still saying all she wants with me is a friendship and after seeing what I saw it looks like I might actually have to accept that this is the end of my hopes for our family.
Wife said she will discuss her lying and my affair in next meeting with Michelle. But now I feel like I am the one wishing I was dead. Please help me stop the pain.
