What to do next?

[BeingMe]

Hi Phoenix! Has your W always been like this? It seems immature to me, but then we are all different. Maybe, you should pick a battle with her that you refuse to back down on, and see what happens. I do that with my teens ... let them get away with something without fighting over it (they actually think I didn't know certain things - so funny), but stand my ground when I feel it is absolutely necessary. I think this may get her attention. Unfortunately, if you are not a confrontational type a guy, this may be difficult. My H is a bit of an avoider, which is what leads him to lying. In your case, it leads you to being too complacent when you need to be tough. This may make you seem like a weak leader - to a teen or a MLC'er, so you may have to toughen up on certain issues, and win at all costs.

What do the marines say? Choose the hill you are willing to die over. IMHO, you are going to have to do something, otherwise, you may be on this fence for the rest of your married life. I think it was Dr. Phil that said, it is better for a child to come from a broken home, then to live in one. Ask yourself, what message you are sending to your children when you allow your W to rule the household in this manner. We know what the church teaches, and she knows, but still chooses this behaviour. Look to yourself and see what it is that gives her the impression that she can be in such control and yet still be out of control. You have to set boundaries. You may earn some respect from her, and that could lead to her reassessing her true feelings for you. We women hate to admit it, but we do like our men to be strong (emotionally, physically, mentally, and as a leader) - note, we like them strong, not overbearing and obnoxious. It is a fine balance, which your W seems to have had no problem tipping in her favour.

I am not suggesting that one's M should be a constant battle for control and leadership (IOW, power). But, it appears that when a spouse is in the midst of a MLC, then the rules change somewhat and we have to do things to get their attention in a positive and meaningful way, until a more mature relationship can re-develop.

Hope I'm making sense here - haven't had a lot of sleep this week. Will illuminate on my thread.