What to do next?

[BeingMe]

I will be looking out for your email, Phoenix! One thing I'd like to respond to in your post, is that .... yes, they have wronged us, but I think, ultimately, they have wronged themselves more, and one must feel a little compassion for them because when they realise (and they will eventually figure it out, in this world or the next), how much pain that is going cause for them. So, I have learned something from my H - don't cause that kind of pain to someone else!

[Phoenix_spark]

It's already sent. Excellent observation, but it's tough to always take the high ground. I'll watch for your response.

[BeingMe]

Hoo boy! I know that so well!

[WCW]

Phoenix, you sound good! Being busy on a big project sets well with you. Helps to refocus on something positive, doesn't it? It flows over into your whole life.

[Phoenix_spark]

I feel pretty good about what I am doing, but as we learn here we can't control everything. The other day I really enjoyed what Michelle said in her news letter. Wish I could just go in and post it on the fridge, but that's not exactly DB. In most ways I am just enjoying refocusing on myself and let the rest fall as it might, I know I am doing the best I can.

[BeingMe]

Hi Phoenix! Thanks for posting on my thread - I always value your opinion.

Yeah, it is good to focus on yourself, keeping in mind that the focus is to improve, discover, and find peace with oneself. You sound more content in your last post, and I hope that this is so.

Again, how did you find the GC? We missed it unfortunately, but I will read it online once my exams are over on Wednesday.

Take care!

[BeingMe]

Hey there, Phoenix! How are things with you? Hope your silence means all is well.

[WCW]

Use a catch word, maybe Phoenix will surface again.
s-e-x??
let's see if it works...

[BeingMe]

Naughty, naughty!

[Phoenix_spark]

Well folks I am around, however my ability to lurk the boards has been out of whack with my latest change of work enviroment. However, today there was some improvement in the "access problem" and I'll try to do better. That said, WCW, I will bring you up to speed tomorrow, once I finish the epistle I started. I'll probably CC you BeingMe (or cut and paste).

So here's where I'm at. All though the majority of things are on track, there is a few key issues that tell me things aren't completely right, or that she is committed to the M. Although I suspect WCW you let it get under your saddle, my comments came from the other side of the fence, the one that associates such things as being part of the change for the better. To me it's part of wanting to draw together and work things out, building a close bond. If you put unrealistic conditions and requirements on grounds for these building steps, nothing will materialize that will last and you'll end up back here.

So where am I at. Well I feel that I have done about all I can, changed that which I have interest or ability to change, but have found myself not where I want to be. I find myself in a situation where I just can't sit back and be myself, express myself and not worry about not doing or saying the right thing. W only wears ring, it appears to me, if not wearing could be embarassing. As far as sex, let's just say it's not where it should be and leave it at that.

So, I'm tired, worn out and just back to comfortably numb. I have done all the right things, but can't quite land the fish. For now I am just letting things work out and then after awhile I'll have to make a decission about what to do. When I look to the beginning, yes there has been a great change, but unfinished work is still just that. I'm just tired of being left hanging (in the doggy door).

The next few days I'll try to be more diligent in trying to post. We'll see though, hopefully the office sharing days are over. I apologize for all the "negative waves".