I see why you picked up on my sitch. There are frightening similarities in the seemingly "no-win" situation. You've been working at DBing much longer than I have, but it seems that working on ourselves is the only way to get thru it. Enjoy life despite their behavior. My W hears all the positives about me from friends and family, but feels I've got them hoodwinked.
I think in our fantasies, we imagine an epiphany, but it likely will not come. We've got to ride things out by enjoying life to the fullest. Maybe they'll come around, maybe not.
I think the biggest difficulty I've had, even though things have starting moving away from D, is the patience of waiting for her to make a baby step toward caring/affection, and not making my own move that might drive her away again.
