This morning was another day of "even though Daddy is the tough one, he is also the most loving". As Dr. Phil says, your attitudes are perceived by your children. They enjoy when I tuck them in and they worry when I leave, wondering when I'll be back. Partly what makes me sad is the damage that W is doing to our kids' childhood. I look back at my childhood with good memories, following her lead the older ones especially can't seem to find much joy in anything. (Unless peers are there to share and give approval).
Today I'm a little tired of how everything has to be done to her approval and the constant depressed attitude towards life. Kids have very little zest for doing much, since nothing seems to be good enough. W wants to blame it on me "because I make her unhappy", she tries to "fix" anything that bothers her, nothing is right/done right, so the kids have given up (I have to an extent too). The kids gave up a long time ago, I try quite a bit still, most of our friends and family think I do too much (even her mom). It amazes me how much of a negative affect a spouse can have on a family. I guess I'm still trying to figure out if she will actually admit her mistake and change, or not.
She doesn't necesarrily have to admit it to me, just figure it out, change and improve our situation. Pride is a tough thing, not something ever swallowed easily in her family. Unfortunately I see a mirror of her grandparents R in our R. I use to shake my head and say poor grandpa....., well hopefully my grandkids won't have to do the same. But I knew then it was grandma's choice and I know now it is W choice. Will she break the cycle.
