What to do next?

[BeingMe]

I am sorry to hear that your W has chosen to try and be the "cool mom". It never works well. I have posted Dr. Phil's # 7 parenting tool, and I must say that I am in total agreement with him. I hope your W wakes up before it's too late, Phoenix. A daughter needs her mother to have a cool and calm head, not a teen cool attitude. They have enough of their own friends, but only one mom.

Tool #7: Parenting By Example
The most powerful role model in any child's life is the same-sex parent. It's a fact that children learn vicariously by observing the behavior of others and noting the consequences of their actions. They watch what happens to family members when they succeed or fail and those experiences become a reference for how they live. This is known as modeling.

Through your actions, words, behavior and love, you can direct your children to where you want them to go. Show them how to be happy, well-balanced and fulfilled adults. Shed any negative attitudes. Dump self-destructive behavior patterns. Turn up the positive attitude.

I liked this article of his too - http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/169