I find myself in a difficult place. W will not agree to C, says issues are her's, but doesn't need a C to tell her the problems again. She can't see how things will change, so guesses it's just a suffer through the rest of life attitude. Some days I feel like the hired help. Like's to refer to things as her's, right in front of me (belongings, finances), and doesn't consult me on things as basic as discipling, scheduling activities, and acceptable clothing for children. Of course you could imagine how this goes over with teenagers and how this makes me look. When she can't believe how the kids behave some days it's all I can do to hold my tongue.
Some days it just feels like W can't stand the thought of maybe she might be wrong and is to proud to let the healing take place, doesn't want to face R work in the future, would rather be a single mom, and have all the sympathy on her and the blame on me. But this seems to be the popular way to do things at her work, she would have to face some serious crow and scrutiny from her fellows if she didn't follow this through and have it her way. What her peers think is very important to her, regardless of the price the rest of us have to pay. Some days I might see a glimmer of light, some days it looks the old heals are digging in.
Do I see a day where she will come to me and say, I was wrong, forgive me, not likely. Possible change of heart, a chance and my current goal. Will I make it, probably. I am known for sticking it out to the end. My kids expect nothing less of me. Hopefully when it's all said and done I will still have my marbles.
