For tonight I think I will just look at things in the form of pluses and minuses.
Pluses
This weekend W stopped and indicated that she might want a hug and kisses.
W made the comment/observation realizing that I am going through the same experience that she is, and don't deserve it also.
W wants to talk to me more and more about her day to day feelings (non R).
W will ask me to do things for her that she would not ask me to do post Bomb due to feeling that she did not want to feel obligated or closer to me.
In general things are more comfortable.
W is including me in plans, discussions and is seeking my input. Before she seem to feel I should/was gone and therefore irrelevant.
I was able to have a discussion with W about some of her feeling, which I mainly listen and validated while she talked. This appeared to be very positive.
Minuses
W seems to show signs of really needing C. (Non R)
Medical problems seem to be taking a real toll on her.
Sometimes her moods and position really seem to take a swing.
Sometimes W talks favorably of me and is proud of what I do, some times talks about me like she's taking "shots" at me, trying to make me look bad.
There are personality traits that were not a part of her before that seem to be coming out quite strongly. This bothers me, considering the time I have known her.
Not quite sure what to do or say some days. Although there are positives, it sure is becoming quite a can of worms. I still feel I'm doing the right thing, regardless of the pain and struggle. Hope the rest of you are doing better.
