ZB, I know where you are coming from with refusal to divorce. What I don't understand is the need to, in the meantime, continue to treat her as a beloved wife when she clearly doesn't relish that role.
What about a sort of in-house separation? I know you don't want to rock the boat and that she will make your life miserable but I think a large part of the depression that you sometimes feel is due to the fact that you take her abuse, day after day. It is anger at yourself, kwim?
The reason I suggested talking to your pastor is to get some advice re: what options are open to you, besides living with a full blown narcissist for the rest of your days and hating every minute of it.
