I think there’s more to this than simply trying to avoid crying. In your situation, with a narcissistic wife, I see this a similar to behavior in a wolfpack, in which secondary members show submissiveness to the alpha male. Always trying to make a joke is a way not to inflame her, to pacify her and therefore not offend her and challenge her position of power. This may sound ridiculous for human relationship behavior, but remember who she is.
Each time you do this, you send a confirmation signal that you are on the defensive and she is in control. Even though you may be expressing your opinion on something, you are also saying, “That’s what I think… if its ok with you, but if not then that’s ok too, I didn’t really mean it, I was just saying….”
I wonder if she ever jokes with you? I’ll bet not. But does she joke with others? I bet so. Her joking with others is to keep appearances that all is well. Her not joking with you is to let you know that she is in charge and she won’t get down to your level. FWIW.
