I’m not sure I understand your question. What I was referring to was keeping up the appearance to outsiders that all is well on the home front. Go ahead and tell friends and relatives you two are on the ropes, need to go to counseling, etc. I also wouldn’t stop at saying she has temper problems and you and your D are verbally abused.
Have you read up on abusive e and controlling people? One way they keep the abuse going is shaming the family into do hanging out the dirty laundry. By doing this, you let her maintain the ability to hide her abuse from the world. Instead, if you let the world know what she is doing, how she beat your kids, she will get all kinds of pressure to straighten up. She won’t like it one bit and there will be hell to pay. But keep doing it and keep standing up to her. She needs to know there’s a new sheriff in town and you’re not going to tolerate her behavior.
By the way, what does your religion say if she decides to leave or get divorced?
