Quote: But I’m just being honest with all of you when I tell you that I can’t/won’t do that. I tried it once before and I felt worse. It’s mostly a religious thing. Look at the stuff I posted to CeMar. I don’t want to argue religion with anybody, but those are my beliefs. They’re not open to negotiation. I believe that marriage is a lifetime commitment. I can try to make it better, but I can’t walk out on it. When I did that, I felt much worse. I felt like a liar. I felt like I had disobeyed God. I felt like I had put my own selfish desires above my obligations to W and to my daughter. I felt like I had violated something that was important to me. I won’t say that I could never change my views on this, but they’re pretty set. Right or wrong, that’s what I’ve experienced and that’s what I believe.
ZB, there's a lot of wiggle room between leaving things at the status quo and divorce.
Stop equating this as "my own selfish desires."
'Cause it ain't all about the sex.
1. Stop making sex sound dirty and horrible in front of out children. Continue doing so and I will start discussing this with clergy, psychologists, family, friends, older couples, deacons in the church, etc. in order to counteract the harmful messages you are giving our children.
2. This is a relationship with two very different people with differing needs and goals. We need to establish some functioning mode that will help us arrive at ways of effectively working out those differences. I am willing to meet with clergy, psychologists, family, friends, older couples, deacons in the church, etc. to work this out with you.
3. Next time you scream at the kids for an extended period of time, I will load them all up and we'll go spend a night at clergy, psychologists, family, friends, older couples, deacons in the church, etc. until you recognize that this is something you must start controlling.
4. We have discussed rescue animals and you have repeatedly chosen to ignore compromising on this issue. If you bring in animals that cause disruption in our finances, family, without discussing it with me, I will contact clergy, psychologists, family, friends, older couples, deacons in the church, and the children and I will stay there until the excess animals that you brought in without anyone else's input are gone.
5. Continue the list with what you consider the most major issues in your marriage. Stop taking the position that you must eat sh*t on a daily basis for Jesus' sake. That sounded mean, I didn't mean it that way. It's just that you need to draw up a list for yourself ZB. And it must be things that you're willing to fight for. And then you've got to be willing to fight.
Okay, so maybe I'm going a bit overboard, but the idea that you must quietly acquiece to whatever your wife decides to bulldoze through your family is a wrong-headed one. You know, even God has boundaries. He has lines that he lays out and says "cross these and there will be consequences."
It isn't unChristian to have boundaries that have real consequences, ZB
