I am glad things seem to be looking up so far. I've wondered if pilots get nervous if there is an air crash, I know that I can get unnerved in a situation (like being in a car crash, a near one or even seeing one). I would imagine that having someone die on the operating table is so much more stressful, and it'd be a good thing definitely to have counseling to make sure he still feels confident if the patient doesn't make it. I hope that doesn't happen.
Don't feel guilty for having a fun night - it wouldn't have stopped anything from happening. You are there for your H now, and that is the most important thing.
