Well at least he tried. I for one was hoping that he got you the "crotchless" panties with a fun top. Make the best of it and I guess I'd over look the dogs, good grief were they out of the heart ones?!?!.
Journey, at least you enjoy that he's done that. I've tried to do that for my spouse and have gotten back the at the lingerie is 1) uncomfortable 2) not her style and 3) she's not going to wear it anyway. One time the MC suggested she get something like that her self and she bought what is probably a more chaste version of a top than your husband did. You'll just have to move slow with him, lol.
Scott -Who with W bought a new mattress for the bed almost two weeks ago and they have yet to properly "initiate" it.
"Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Rule #19 Ferengi "Rules of Acquistition"
FWIW....when my H pointed out a cashmere short & cami set in Red Evenlope that he liked yesterday to me....something along the lines of what you described sort of. Simple, yet very appealing to HIM. One of his favorite things to see me wear is a plain ole tank top n'jeans. So don't discount it.
It's interesting what men find sexy in the way of clothing...
There was an essay in Esquire years ago where a guy extolled the sexiness of his wife's plain cotton panties-- not the bikini mid-rise kind, but the old-fashioned full-sized ones. It was a very sweet essay... and you could see how this particular garment really rang his chimes. I think a lot of it has to do with the kind of stuff a guy was exposed to when he was sexually awakening.
For my late H, he always remembered a calendar that was in some garage or something when he was a teenager... it showed a flirty woman wearing jeans that were unzipped and lowered a bit so that her undies were showing. I don't think he ever told me what she was wearing on top. That didn't seem to register on him.
He was also very turned on by the sight of a woman smoking a cigar. When he was 14 his grandma took him to visit family in Germany and I think he met an older woman (~17!) who smoked a cigar. I don't mean she smoked cigars regularly, but she smoked at least one. That image stayed with him forever. At age 60, he even ordered videos of fully clothed women slowly and seductively smoking cigars -- no dialogue and they just sat there looking at the camera smoking, never removed any clothes or did anything except smoke the cigar (clearly there is a market for these videos).
On a different note... SuperDave can chime in here-- I think it's interesting that in America, the word panties has a slightly titillating sound... in England, it's the word "knickers," right? And I think it's very cute that they refer to the Queen of England's underwear as her "smalls." I love England.
Journey, Don't knock what he finds sexy. Maybe he likes to think of you as young and flirty and cute and sexy. My H likes those shorty sleep shorts too..especially when they're short enough for a little tush to show. (which they usually are, I'm 5'9")...and a tight tank top, what's not to like there, right.
I'm *not* trying to be pollyanna-ish, I'm just saying that he may have seen that and thought Wow she'd look hot in that...just like when I met her x number of years ago.
Try not to 'read' anything into it. If he inquired about it when you called him, then obviously he thinks it's hot! It's hard enough to reveal ourselves to our partner...our likes and dislikes...so do not shoot him down and refer to it as teenagerish in front of him. It would lessen your chances of finding out more of what he likes, in the future, don't you think?
I'm so excited for you! You two rock.
Love, Honey
P.S. H likes cotton panties and the like, too. He also gets *very* horny thinking about me at the age I was when we first met. Personally I think I'm much more tantalizing in my 30's but whatever turns his crank eh!
FWIW, MrsGGB bought some of those camisol tank top things with the spaghetti straps, and wore one without a shirt over it this summer. All I can say is BOING. Yup, that got me going, and I let her know that she looked hot in it. I certainly wouldn't classify as VC's top of the line, and probably wouldn't register as sexy lingerie in any magazine, but she does look hot in them. To each his own.
Anyway, if that's what floats his boat, then run with it...or run in it
More thought on the outfit: H does like to think of me as young and cutesy ( the way we met)...he has recently commented on how my depressive moods ( which began after marriage) had affected him. I am able to better see how my emotionality played a role in weakening the marriage, and I feel, overall, that I handle myself better. The problem is, I sort of evolved/matured in my being as a sensual, 40+ woman, yet my H seems to still be at a teenager-y style in his sexuality, with the goofiness and lack of self-assertion; I think he is uncomfortable with who I am now.
Anyway, I will work on cutesy and fun ( what he wants) for this weekend while I figure this out.
Journey, I doubt he's uncomfortable with who you are now; he's probably just concerned that he can't keep up with the new you, kwim? That you are too sophisticated for him or something..
My H said something like this to me last night. He was referring to his self esteem and said that he would be at the rock bottom of the barrel, were it not for my faith in him. This faith spurs him on to live up to his potential. He was talking specifically about sexual confidence and being a confident lover during sex.
His confidence is still a little shaky outside the bedroom but I felt good that he views himself positively during the actual act.
Your H will get there, J.
If he's a teenager still, then the only way to help the process along is by lots of praise and goodwill. We're all still growing and he's just bringing up the rear, while you are at the top of your game.
Quote: I am able to better see how my emotionality played a role in weakening the marriage
Sorry, I cannot go along with the idea that you showing your vulnerable side, being more "yourself," being more honest in not putting your best foot/face forward at all times can "weaken" a marriage. IMHO this kind of a statement is a copout on his part, and you shouldn't buy it.
All of these things can make your partner uncomfortable, but that's his challenge. Ultimately the goal is for you to be ALL of yourself, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still for the marriage to be good and strong. Refer to Mrs. NOP's excellent credo for relationships.
Looking back, I see that he didn't have the maturity to handle my depressive side...he felt abandoned by me, and then detached from me, which made me feel abandoned. We ended up in two separate worlds, until I was finally able to help myself and begin to reconnect, first to myself and then to him. He does have a lot of work ahead of him to deal with the stresses of life as a mature man. I am learning to cope better, too, so that he doesn't have the sense from me that life is just this bleak thing ( I tend to put on a happy face to the world while taking out the "yuk" part of life on him). Everyone needs to feel hopeful, and I think he was missing this from me. On his end, detaching, avoiding,and escaping come easy to him...he has to meet me in reality where we accept life's terms a bit better and create, together, a fulfilling life.
I am resistant to being his cutesy girl this weekend; I kind of feel I have moved beyond that, but if he needs to feel that sense of fun and youth, I feel I should go along with it...and it might even be a good thing for me...as long as we can get to a place where he accepts all of me, depression and emotionality included.
