Journey, I know it bugs you, but step into his shoes for a moment. It is *your* father that is ill and H may not want to be the one to take the focus off your dad and onto the sexual relationship. Perhaps he feels this is in bad taste and that it would offend you.
I think if you worked on sending out "I'm okay, let's get happy together" signals, he would reciprocate.
While it's true that you may have been responsible for setting the tone in the past, there might be a different dynamic at work this time that looks the same, but is not motivated by the same stuff. He may be acting this way out of politeness and concern for you, but it looks like he's setting the ball in your court.
Send out those signals and I'll betcha the relief at having you back will be quickly evident.
