Thank you all so much for the kind wishes. My father is struggling with pneumonia and is "out of it"...he is a fighter so keep the prayers coming, my religious friends. My mother amazes me with the love and devotion to him...this is a couple married over 50 yrs whose idea of intimacy is fighting with each other, and yet her love is now so apparent. Gone is the anger...she is so much more accessible to me...we hug and kiss and talk and reminisce. So much wasted time.
Guys...my message is to keep doing the work you're doing and uncover the love that's there. So much missed opportunity...it's sad to me.
Right now in this crisis H and I are relating as supportive friends...not sure why I really can't reach out to him more intimately.
Following along on your threads...no time to comment...lots of good avice...NOP, Julie good to see you back.
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts in the midst of your own struggles.
I have a suggestion for you, if you are into such things. If not please disregard.
Each morning when you get up, face the sun and let the rays wash over your face. Clear your mind as much as you are able. Even if you can't see or feel the sun, imagine it as if it were a clear day and you can feel these things.
Thank God for the morning, and then ask that the sun fill your body and spirit with its energy. When you feel this, turn around and give it back. Breath its energy in, exhale its energy out. Fill your entire body with it.
When you are with your father, fill yourself with this same feeling of light and love to the point that you feel you will burst from it all. Look to your father and breath in and out the same way you did with the sun.
In this way, he approaches your "sun." Healing always happens from within, not from outside ourselves. For example, it was said that Jesus was a great healer, right? Well, without going into great detail on where I found this information, the premise was that Jesus vibrated on such a high level, he was filled with such an amazing amount of light and love, that people were drawn to him. He was merely the conduit that gave people hope and faith to heal themselves. The more light and love you fill yourself with, the brighter you will burn for him.
I am glad that you and Hubby are handling it well.
God bless, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Hi guys and thank you so much for the continued blessings.
Corri... I want to let you know that as my father starting slipping away more and as the medical staff took charge, I found myself stepping back in a way, as a non-intrusive observer. You helped me see my fear within, and I came forward yesterday with all the internal energy I could muster...a major challenge to me. I have always had a special, psychic connection to my father and he will be feeling that direct love from this point on.
Lou...you asked about my mother...well, she is understandably afraid...she has always been so dependent on my father, but so angry towards him for so long...just angry in general...I never really undrstood what the anger was all about. She is showing kindness in the sweetest of ways...I can almost recollect this image of her when I was a small child...little glimpses that are making me even that much more emotional.
H is being very practical...taking care of the logistics...concerned about my weight loss and making sure to find time for a nourishing meal for us. Encouraged my starting on an antidepressant (Lexapro)...been having a major backslide in terms of my sexuality, but will come back here to address that after this crisis.
Thinking of you all...enjoying reading the posts...hope to hear good things.
If you are present when your father 'slips away,' if it gets to that... God my heart breaks for you... make sure you look up. Look up at the ceiling. He'll be able to see your face then, and you will be able to 'feel' him, which is the most amazing, amazing feeling...
