Hello, I have been reading this board for some time now and it has helped me a great deal, I even read DBing. My H and I were married for 6 months 12/04/05 and in June 05 he told me he wanted a divorce. I signed my divorce papers on 10/20/05. In early Sept. he finally started to realize he made a mistake and started to reach out to me.
Here is a little background: bought a home 11/04, married 12/04, lost my job 01/05. I was basically the sole provider as my H was substitute teaching. I knew my DH smoked pot but I never knew how much until we started living together (12/04), he said it helped with his ADD. Well, my DH smoked constantly even waking up in the middle of the night to smoke. He stopped student teaching, we stopped having sex and we stopped communicating. I would soon come to find out that he had an $800.00 a month habit. Now, I have know job, he stopped working and we were living off of my unemployment checks and our wedding money. He also opened a landscaping business the previous summer and was spending the money (that we didn’t have) on advertising for the 2005 season. We fought constantly over money and how he spends it. He comes from a wealthy family that gives him what he wants when he wants it; my DH was not accustomed to living the way we had to live at that moment in time. We lost respect for one another and became verbally abuse to each other. The only way my DH would speak to me was if I yelled at him, so that be came to norm for me. I asked him several time to separate so that we could get it together, the problem with that was each time we had an argument or I asked him to separate he would go back to his parents and tell them I was threatening to leave him and I was mean to him. I asked him several times to stop doing this because it will not turn into a good situation for us. Another problem was his mother, she is well known around the community to be CRAZY!! She ruined my bridal shower, she was difficult at my wedding and she constantly interfered in our marriage (with my H’s help.). So in June he dropped the bomb on me and I never saw him again, he went to live with his parents. He left me maintaining our home and all of the bills because he said I threatened to plant drugs in the house and blame it on him. I did finally get a job in May but by that time it was just too late.
We had a nasty divorce because he had a trust fund and I wanted half of it because of all the money he went through due to his addiction. His father owns his own law firm so ALL of his legal fees were free. His mother ran our divorce and cost me so much money. Early August we finally spoke and he was willing to let me buy him out so that I could keep the house. He has been calling me again, telling me he misses me, our home, our dogs etc. One day he is hot and one day he is cold. His family talks about me around town and my family talks about him around town, it’s just like forces are trying to keep us apart no matter what. I know my DH never wanted a divorce but was actually convinced that was the best thing for him to do. I feel like my DH only comes around for sex. I have asked him to let me go and to move on, he says NO he only wants me. He knows I’m financially broke and he doesn’t even offer anything to me. I helped support him before we were married. I have told him if you want me back we have to start dating again, dinner, movies etc. but the problem is its hard because someone may see us together. But he has never attempted it anyway and I feel like he just comes over to have sex. I do love my DH but I don’t think I’m in love with him any longer. I’m willing to try it again because we were so in love it was unbelievable but he does NOTHING to get me back. I know he still loves me, he tells me he doesn’t want me to date, he doesn’t want to be with anyone else etc. It’s like he know he was wrong and impulsive but he will not admit it to anyone. I want him to all in love with me again; I want to date all over again, I want to try to start fresh. Does anyone have any suggestions??????

**By the way he has been sober for three months and now has a full time teaching job**