Hi again, luvs... I posted a reply to you on Michele's thread before I saw that you had started one of your own.
I refer to my guy as bf (boyfriend).
I agree with what cobra said, counseling should be the FIRST thing you do, not the last, for several reasons. One is that the longer you keep batting at the problem the more negative thought and behavior patterns will be in place that you will just have to overcome. Also, it will let him know just how serious a problem it is. And besides, why wait?
My bf and I have been to two relationship counselors. One was better than the other (that's another reason to go now: it may take you several tries to find a good one), but overall nothing changed in our sex life.
He's seeing a therapist on his own now and I'm seeing major changes in him in every area except sex. He's a recovering alcoholic who quit drinking 18 months ago after quad bypass surgery (and after I put my foot down). My bf has a TON of personal baggage to get through. Right now I'm kind of wavering between waiting until his twin daughters graduate from high school next year before I dump him and trying to decide if I can just live without sex.
Triple ditto what the others said: do not get married to this man if sex has any importance for you at all. This situation will not improve by itself (and it may never improve even with a lot of work).
Previous marriages for either of you? Does your bf have any ED (erectile dysfunction) issues or sexual abuse (of him as a child)? Many of us have wondered if our LD men were gay-- has this question ever crossed your mind? Did something specific trigger the drop in sex? Is he having job/career problems?
