I just want to "ditto" what the others have said: DO NOT GET MARRIED, and DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN until you work this out. Women, particularly I think, have this "I will change him" fantasy in their heads, and it doesn't work. Your fiance IS WHO HE IS.
There are many of us on this board who wish that their tough choices were not complicated even further by marriage bonds and especially by children. You are fortunately that you are still single, and able to work on these issues NOW, before you make a lifetime vow to each other.
