I have been reading your thread, but not posting because I wasn't sure what I thought about everything. I know this is a tough and confusing time for you, so I am glad that you are taking your time with it.
Something you said in one of your posts jumped out at me, and I wanted to comment on it:
Quote: Did H care about that? Nope. All he cared about at that moment was the money I "stupidly" threw away, and he'll always be like that.
Valerie, Valerie, Valerie... You don't truly believe that, do you? Do you forget where you are? This is the Divorce Busting site, where people change everyday! We all have great capacity for change. If you can believe it for yourself (being stronger, getting that diploma, etc.,) PLEASE give your H the benefit of the doubt!!!! He really seems to be trying. Maybe he is not giving you 100% of what you want, but he is trying.
It sounds like you two have lots of discussions ahead...
How about re-visiting that counseling idea?
...and, don't spite yourself by not doing it because your H was not the one who set it up. I know you wanted him to, but for whatever reason, he didn't. If he is still willing to go, how about sitting down together, going through the phonebook, and making a list of people that YOU can call? Again, I know you wanted HIM to do it, but what does it matter if you get there and it helps you?
Hope you take this in the spirit it is intended...
