Following my heart....

[DonH]

Emotion may not always come through in a posting but it certainly seems to be in your last one. There is clearly so much hurt and pain from the past. I don't need to tell you that but it is very easy to see it. It is that hurt and pain that has to be worked through and gotten past. He in no way should have ever talked to you like that. There simply is no excuse. You should have never taken it either. You must in the future if ever he even starts to get close - put a stop to it. Tell him he CANNOT speak to you like that, that it is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. This you must do for you. You must also start to let go of the past. If you allow current actions to be based on where you and H were in the past, you'll never have a better and more productive future.

I guess I did not see though, what all of this has to do with the current sitch. and your response to him wanting to give you a gift. This is way over my head and not my place to annalize. But using the past as a response to the present is going to be trouble. Living in the past rather than the present is going to spell the death of your R.

All I can see is that a potential postive was turned away and at least pointed in a negative direction and I don't think we can blame H for this one. I know it's really, really, hard but try to lower that wall just a little bit and let him back in. You'll still be able to pull back if his old self starts to return. You'll be able to see it in plenty of time. You don't have to head it off before it starts.