Quote: ...Our H's seem to be living in the same universe, waiting on "the job" and making lots of promises that don't materialize.
Yeah...I've been thinking about this A LOT lately. Knowing how hard and how focused H has been on getting this job, well it just makes a whole lot of sense to me.
How can I expect (yeah, I know that's a no-no ) or hope for H to follow through with his promises right now? He is under so much stress, and getting this job is really all that he is able to focus on. With so much weighing on his mind, I know making me feel the way I want to feel from him is too much to ask for. At least for now.
I think if he gets the job, I just might start seeing what I want to see. Maybe.
If he doesn't, well... ...Let's just say that I won't be holding my breath.
(Sigh)....I don't know....but like I said, I have a strong feeling that this job (getting it or not getting it) is going to be a HUGE factor in what happens with our R.
Again, I know this job isn't everything, and I've even told H that, but he feels that it is. I think he feels like a failure in many ways, and if he doesn't get the position, it's only going to make it worse for him.
Quote: ...I can relate so much to how you feel.. the emptiness when they say ILU and remembering how it felt when they wouldnt say that. Just the "it's over" and I don't have it anymore feelings. And I'm also beginning to relate to wanting to be kind and feeling compassion (instead of that hurt and anger) when they are in a bad place. I feel friendship for my H and am guarding my feelings very closely. Do you feel yourself doing that too? Not wanting to share personal things anymore? That is so bizarre for me.
Same here. It's so very bizarre. I remember LONGING to hear those words from him again..."ILY"...but now, it's not like that anymore. When he says it, I don't get that warm, fuzzy feeling like I used to. Now, well I just know that he cares, and I say it in return because I care, too. It's like saying "ILY" to a family member, a very dear friend, and nothing more. It's not that "in love" feeling.
About sharing personal things....The only time that ever seems to come up is when H wants to flirt with me. In the past, I would flirt back of course, but when he does it now (he even did it over the phone tonight), I won't do it back. I'll just change the subject, and it's forgotten. But I actually have initiated some flirting myself a few times when H is around...if he's in the right mood...if he's acting a little playful. I'll give him a pat on his bottom ! He does it to me much more often though.
Quote: You're doing a great job keeping it all together there and you sound so healthy in this place.. just keeping the door open and moving on with life. You should be proud of how far you've come!
Thank you, Sheila! Really.
I was in a deep, dark place exactly 10 months ago today. The day of the bomb.
Look at me now... ...I am VERY proud of me !
Time to put the kids to bed. Thanks for listening.
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
) or hope for H to follow through with his promises right now? He is under so much stress, and getting this job is really all that he is able to focus on. With so much weighing on his mind, I know making me feel the way I want to feel from him is too much to ask for. At least for now.
! He does it to me much more often though.
!
