H is waking up....but will it last????

[kaydeekay]

Hi Kim, just dropped by to see how things are going. Not much going on in my sitch, just going with the flow of things. The only change is H is finally stepping up to the plate as far as financial obligations.

I have to admire you for turning down Tony's ML advances. I'm weak when it cums to such matters

[KimDownUnder]

thanks girls for dropping by and I am no saint....I have
resisted H a couple of times now on the ML sitch but on the weekend I weakened so slap me on the wrist, at least I am able to say no for a few times that has gotta be something surely. At least he never knows whether I will weaken or not so it keeps him guessing....I hope.

Anyhow had a fairly quite weekend, Friday night took S9 to Cricket and then went over to my girlfriends to see that beautiful newborn baby of her's he is so gorgeous.
Saturday didn't feel very well so had a very quiet day, H called in for coffee in the morning and I went for coffee to his place that night when he finished work. Got there about 10.30 and yes this is when I weakened.
Sunday H came over for breakfast and then went to work, I mowed all my lawns but had to have a break in between as it was getting too hot. I then mowed a Cricket Pitch for S9 in the backyard and then S9, S17 and myself had a game for awhile so it was good.

Now on the weekend on Saturday morning H's phone went off with a text message, I asked him who it was from and he said "Brett". (He is OW's son who my H works with and they both do security on the side as well).

This is where I anti-DB......I said to H well if it is not OW and as you have been saying she hasn't been contacting you, I am trying to believe that although it is hard when you both work where you do, anyhow b/c I am trying to learn to trust you again, would you have a problem showing me your messages and that way I know it wasn't her.....

H was annoyed and said he shouldn't need to show me and I should trust his word. I said that was harsh as he has lyed to me about OW many times and only admitted the truth when backed into a corner and if he had nothing to hide he should be able to show me his messages to prove he was telling the truth. Well H wouldn't and he cracked it and walked out.

I let him go as wasn't going to chase him as those days are gone. I went and layed down for about 1/2 hour and then there was a knock at the door. It was H coming back to say he was sorry for leaving in a bad mood. I said was he going to show me the phone and he said No and that he could just walk out again and I said yep you could but I am not apologising. Anyhow we just let it drop but I am still not real happy about it.

Saturday night when I was at his place we touched on it again and I made him look me in the eye and say he was telling the truth about everything and that he has not seen OW or anyone else out of work and hasn't cheated on me at all. He did this and I said to him that b/c he had looked me in the eye and he has never lied to me when looking me in the eye that if I found out he had lied I would never trust him again on anything.

So now I am still left to wonder but it is of no use bringing it up again as he is not going to budge. I think he would have showed me if he had nothing to hide which really has me wondering now. If I look at it from his side he probably figures that if I can't trust him then it won't work that's if he is telling the truth.

Gosh it is a hard call isn't it. Damned if I accept and damned if I don't. I guess I will just wait and see how the next couple of weeks go and see how I am feeling then. One day at a time, like they say.......KDU

[WindyCityBeth]

Kim -

My opinion here - if your H wants to regain your trust he has to be an open book right now. He has to be able to share everything with you, otherwise you will always be suspicious and that is not a good way to rebuild your R. Let it go this time but from now on you might have to set up your boundaries with him. He can go along with it or you can stop things now. Remember, it is actions, not words. Good luck, KDU. I'm thinking of you...

WCB