To all of you thanks for your lovely and kind words..Sometimes I wonder whether these boards help in reconciling or make us strong enough not to (LOL-that is a joke)
Anyhow Sheila I am glad you know what I mean it is nice when someone puts down the words you are thinking isn't it.
BB my love thanks as always you know just what to say, and just enough pat on the back so thanks to you. It's funny sometimes you don't say much but yet you have said alot, I am sure you know what I mean.
Kismet & Lisa thanks sisters and yes it is scary when you don't know if you like them anymore. Maybe they were like this before and we just didn't see it b/c we were so blinded by undisputed love for them, I don't know but that is scary to think about....
Last night H rang he had worked for us yesterday but had to travel to some of our country sites and left at 5am. He then went home to sleep so I didn't see him. This morning he was in the office when I got in as he is working again today but locally, I was flustered when I got to work this morning as I had slept in a little and by the time I got showered and ready and then showered S9, woke D16 and S17, done breakfast, made lunches and packed S9's cricket gear I was rather frazzled when I got to work.
H must have noticed this b/c he rang about an hour after being on the road to ask me if everything was alright b/c I didn't seem myself this morning. (Wow he actually noticed something that wasn't to do with him) I said to him that everything was fine that I was running a bit late (though I made it to work on time) and just had a lot to do before work and at work. He said O.K. he just wanted to check (probably paranoid he had done something). I have had so many things go wrong at work at the moment, nothing I have done just clients being difficult. I am feeling I have hit the snapdragon stage - Part of me has snapped....and the rest of me is draggin.....haha
Anyway H is to have S9 tonight and S9 is supposed to be playing cricket but at the moment it is bucketing down and showing no sign of easing up, so I would say cricket will be a wash out and therefore no game. H is also working all weekend so I won't see him this weekend, which is funny cause it really doesn't bother me.
I am not seeking him out at all as I don't really think to. When I was DBing to get him back, he entered my thoughts all the time and it was all i could do to keep my distance and not try and think of some ridiculous excuse to contact him. Funny how things change. Maybe it's the fact that before I had no choice in how things panned out and now I do I can cope better. Don't know it's something I am still trying to figure out.
Anyhow not much to update you all with. Christmas decorating this weekend and not a whole lot else, Jarrod may pop over Saturday night but I am not going out. I need to recharge my batteries, as I am too old to keep going out. I am 40 next year and they say life begins at 40 maybe I am warming up.....
Hope you all have a fantabulous weekend...love you all...
