KDU,

I think you're my emotional twin right now unfortunately Well, except I'm a farther gone than you, and H is still here. I definately hope that the meds make a huge diff in your H's moods and ability to cope. If he was a great guy before, then that might be enough to do the trick (as far as returning him to the H you know and love)! Unfortunately, my H's behavior patterns and the way he deals with problems is a big part of his depression, so.. the meds can lift his spirits but the basic issues are still there to work on, and he's not working on them!

I know that does not sound very good but at the moment he is not someone I want to be with, he is selfish, self centered and worries only about himself, he is so different to me. I live to make others happy, I enjoy doing it and I enjoyed being appreciated for it, but he shows no appreciation of me or love or affection so what is there to like. I don't know if he was always like this and I was living behind a blindfold or if he has become this way and I am seeing or realising it for the first time but I do know I do not really like who he is now so the less time with him the better or he will kill all my feelings for him. Gawd, I understand this too well. Big huggs to you KDU!! I've said it before and I'll say it again... it's OK for you to feel this way. You've been through a lot and it's time to take care of yourself first. The best you can do for him is to give him the space he needs to get better and sort things out. In the meantime, GAL GF and maybe H will come out of this and you'll be ready to fall in love again.

Sheila