Well Friday night I ended up getting dragged out by a couple of friends and we didn't end up getting home until 5.45am . It was a good night and I enjoyed myself but I am way too old to be out until that time. I awoke at 10am and then did some shopping and pottered around the house and was in bed Saturday night at 9.30pm. Sunday I did my housework and got ready for the week ahead. So other than Friday night a pretty uneventful weekend. (Although I think it took the whole weekend to recover from Friday night as in lack of sleep)....
H worked all weekend and I didn't contact him once as I figured he would contact me when he was wanting to. So Monday about lunchtime he rang me at work to say hi and to say how he had no time on the weekend to ring as he only got 15mins break the whole day and he started at 9.30am and finished at 1.00am so by the time he got home it was too late.
I said that was fine and that I understood. He sounded very very tired. He said he was just going to laze around for the day and have an early night to try and get some energy back. He then said he would work for us today and that he would visit me tonight.
I was fine with that. I have reached the conclusion at the moment that I am a bit numb about our R. I haven't really been feeling that he is trying very hard, we only see each other twice or three times a week and as for quality time well that is maybe once a week. We haven't even had sex for 2-3weeks. That is not the sign of someone who is wanting to work things out I don't think. It certainly makes me wonder if he is getting it from somewhere else but I don't know that so I can't dwell on it.
All these feelings I wonder if it will ever work out. I wonder if I am expecting too much from him that maybe he just can't give. There is taking things slowly and there is the ridiculous and I am beginning to feel this is the ridiculous. I will hang in there for a bit longer but if he doesn't make an improvement I really cannot see a future for us.
I want to be with someone who likes to spend time with me, whether that be watching t.v., doing things together around the home, movies or dinner, I don't really care but I just feel like we are 2 seperate people going our own seperate ways. I don't know we will wait and see but I am getting so tired of it all.....Anyhow hopefully after tonight I will feel a bit better by tomorrow.......KDU
. It was a good night and I enjoyed myself but I am way too old to be out until that time.