Beth me either they are a rare breed I tell you. Like how dare she question me he was after all my H not hers I did nothing wrong but she did....go figure......
Can I just say this is a bit about my feelings.......
H seems to be being honest and he seems to enjoy being with me but that's when he is with me.
I know H has got used to having time to himself over the last 9 months and maybe I am looking for a fairytale R, I don't know but i would have thought that he would want to spend a fair amount of time with me considering all we have been through and considering we are supposed to be putting our M back together.
I just find that he can come and go as he likes and I have to sit around and wait to see if he calls or comes over. I am not going to be a doormat. I am thinking I might bring this up and just say something like, I have been noticing that we don't seem to spend much time together do you think there is a reason for that" and then see what happens and what he says but I am not going to sit at home waiting for him, I would rather just get on with my life.
Yes I still love H, but I need to feel it is reciprocated 100% or what is the point. H has been used to coming and going between 2 woman for a long time and maybe thinks he can do that with me as well but without the OW, but I have news for him.
You see I get the feeling that H will see me when he wants but stuff what I want and if H doesn't want to see me then I just have to understand but where is the meeting halfway, I am not sure we have that yet. I am sure H probably thinks things are great and he has said some hints on him moving back but I am no way ready for that yet.
I am sure he thinks that when he decides he will move back that I will just let him well he is in for a rude shock. Sorry if I sound like I don't like him that truly isn't the case, I am just questioning a few things. I knew this wouldn't be easy so I am keeping that in mind. Butt BB told me to hold on to my dignity and you know what I will even fight for my dignity and my pride. DBing has taught me not to settle for something that doesn't sit well with me. Ultimatley everyone deserves to be happy it is our right and whilst we can be understanding about things and god knows all us Dbers are we do not have to sacrifice anything to get it.
Just wanted to voice this on my board and also so as people see that even though things are going well it's not all hearts and flowers and that this is going to take alot of hard work, but hey if I don't share the hard times as well, nobody will learn from it......So give me your thoughts, i truly am interested.....KDU
