(((Jo))) I agree with Gabe. Your girls have no idea how the thought of being with your entire family depresses you. They are not being selfish, they are kids.
I know that Andy is a jerk but is it at all possible that you can work out a way to have your Ds at your house to celebrate the holiday without him? Even if you have to do it the following weekend? Most divorced people "do not" celebrate the holidays together and you shouldn't have to either. Set up a time when you can see the girls without him for your celebration and gift giving.
Another thing is that you have to stop reacting when he pressures you in front of the girls. Just say, calmly, "we'll talk about this at another time" and drop it. He manipulates you because you allow it. Don't ever let the girls see you losing control of yourself in front of them. This just gives him more ammunition/justification for being the custodial parent.
Please do see about the antidepressants.
We all love you here, Jo. Wish there was more we could do to help.
