I left a note on Meandmydogs' thread over in the Midlife Crisis forum some days ago, thinking she lived in the same city as you. I don't know if I remember this right or wrong, but she hasn't been back to her thread to update it in days. Keep an eye open for her there. If you were living within reach of each other, you may be a big support to one another.
I am sorry to hear about everything. Andy seems to have you dangling on a string. Keeps dropping the odd crumb to keep you interested and then behaves as if he said nothing etc. You sound like you are going though hell.
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) and "no advice" this time.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates