I wasn't going to write anymore updates as I'm worried that people are sick of me (or to be more accurate, sick of him) and I know there isn't much advice people can give in a sitch as complex as mine, yet somehow I find writing it down, theraputic.
If, however, you are all tearing your hair out and wanting to stab me or Andy with your Turkey knifes, please tell me and I'll shutup.
DD4 still wasn't back by 3.15pm yesterday so I phoned him to ask his expected time of arrival. He stated he was on his way and was just stopping to get fuel for the car.
He arrived at about 4pm, looking shattered, and fell asleep on my sofa. All the girls were playing around me and making masses of noise and I had the headache from hell and had been drinking peppermint tea to get rid of it, but they brought it all back with their noisy play, LOL.
Plus I am now sporting a scar on my left wrist from where I burnt myself, about 4 cm across, which is quite painful, so I hope that goes away in a few weeks. I ran it under cold water for several minutes like you are supposed to.
What with that and the raging headache, I felt really down.
Andy had been in court all morning regarding the sex abuse allegations that had been made against his friend, J, and involved our DD3, and which were obviously completely false, so he was really tired.
DD3 was jumping around like tigger and grinning at me constantly, not the actions of a child who has been molested at all.
When Andy woke up, I made him some peppermint tea too and he told me that the case was worse than ours and he was really scared, and V's barrister cross-examined him, which was horrible, but since he was in attendance in the day in question, and he knew J was innocent, he knew exactly what to say.
He didn't know the outcome, as in the UK, Custody hearings are private and any witnesses are only allowed in to speak their bit and then they have to leave again, so he left as soon as they'd finished questioning him and he says it may be several more months of hearings - his part is over at least.
Apparently the custody was never contested. The mother, V, will have custody, but she has made these allegations because she says she doesn't want J to have any access to his children at all. I actually find that disgusting, but am still surprised that Andy agreed to testify, given all the problems we've had and how much he hates that court.
I told him that I thought he had guts and if that had been me I would have chickened out. I feel for him as V was his friend too.
Anyway, my headache was so bad I was just sitting there feeling awful, so he asked me what I was thinking and I said 'nothing.' - I wasn't really in a chatty mood, as you can imagine, so he started doing this really childish thing.
You know how when kids want something they just say the same thing over and over again until you give in? Well, he started doing that and asking me repeatedly what I was thinking. I told him to shutup several times but he didn't.
DD2 said 'Now now, children, stop fighting.', so even she thought he was being childish!
He must have said the same thing 100 times. I tried to cover his mouth but he carried on so I got this flower that was on my kitchen table and tried to stuff that in his mouth to get him to shutup. The kids were all roaring with laughter.
I asked him to babysit this Saturday to Monday and he asked where I was going so I reminded him of my trip to London and told him about the makeover session and how they are going to make me look great, as I am looking a bit older after these traumatic 4 years, LOL.
He grinned at me and said I looked okay, that I should get more sleep and stop staying up till 2am. Then he made this comment about how I always have more 'cleavage' when I'm pregnant (he's right, my breasts are tiny; the only time they ever look impressive is when I'm breast feeding, LOL), then he added 'But let's not put them through that for a few years, huh?'
(WHAT????).
I was thinking, what? Are you telling me you want a baby in a few years? That's what it sounded like, and what with that time we ML and he tried it on with no contraception, I think he might be getting broody. The man's crazy. I mean, he gave me the brush off and treated me awful after that operation (admittedly, he apologised afterwards and said it was because he'd been in his dad's house all day), and he said he didn't want me etc etc, yet he is still saying weird stuff like that.
I truly don't get it unless he is just mean when he's been smoking dope and nice the rest of the time. That would make sense.
Anyway, I made no comment to his 'in a few years' remark about pregnancy.
The girls were getting hungry so he and DD2 went out to get chips and we all ate together. They were saying they were still hungry so Andy said there was some cake at his house they could have when they got back.
Then DD2 pipes up 'Daddy, lets take mum home with us then she can have some cake too.' I said, 'It's okay, DD2.'
But she carried on and on about it and wouldn't let it drop and I felt as if she was pressuring Andy, that he might think I put her up to it, and I felt genuinely very embarrassed. I ended up snapping at her 'Just stop it, DD2!' Then I felt guilty because she was only trying to be nice.
I thought that was it, but then she carried on. Andy has a relative who has a beach house in Spain and she's told him he can borrow the beach house for holidays if he wants, so DD2 started up about taking me to Tenerife! 'Daddy, let's take mummy and go and live in Tenerife.'
I told her to stop talking about it, I was so uncomfortable.
His answer to that was that he 'hadn't even sold the house yet' and wasn't even thinking about Tenerife at this moment. Honestly, I didn't know where to look, I felt quite upset as she spent the whole afternoon match making and piling the pressure on.
I know she's only 8 and her intention is good, but boy was I embarrassed.
Andy could see it was bugging me so he said to her 'Mummy will come to ours for Christmas.' Then he asked me 'When are you coming over?' I said I thought we had agreed on Christmas Eve, so he said that was fine.
I asked him to bring me some files I need for work, as I'm running into problems with the Christmas newsletter, so he said he'd bring them over - hopefully not too late as I have deadlines.
I was in floods of tears after they left. I really like having my whole family there and then when they go it's agony, it never gets any easier, but then I was feeling ill so that doesn't help.
