Soldiering On

[Underdog]

Jo,

I've not ever posted to you before, but I'm one of your lurkers. Your posts over the past couple days have disturbed me, and I've gone home trying to mull them all over. It's no reflection of you, but how I feel...

I'm the mother to an 8-year old disabled girl. And while I'm thrilled to be blessed by having her, I have definitely met parents who run the gamut of other, less positive feelings.

For the life of me, I can't imagine not ever meeting someone else just like you. It just blows me away. D8 has not only befriended other differently abled persons, she's met a slew of kids who share her Dx. And on top of that, her dad and I have her skiing with her peers at the National Sports Center for the Disabled here in Colorado.

Then I started to think how this could be possible... for a 28 year old woman to never have the opportunity to meet people just like her. And it all goes back to your mom and how she feels. My guess is she feels a whole lot of guilt for your outcome, and that's why she's been able to keep you isolated from the rest of the world. After all, what would others think of her?

I say this sort of tongue-in-cheek, as my grandmother was of British descent (her grandparents emigrated) and she was of the similar mindset. She was a lovely person who was so caught up in how others might perceive her.

Anyway, I didn't post to you to try and figure out why your mother doesn't see you for who you are through your physical limitations. I DO call you folks differently abled. You do what you can to compensate for what this life denies you, and I am humbled and amazed to see the spirit really shine through in you.

I tell people that my life truly began the day D8 was born, and I mean every word of it. Because of her, I've changed what was in my heart. I've met people who love to work with folks who think differently--who I'd have never met otherwise. I've learned how to appreciate all the talents that God gives each one of us. And I've learned to be thankful every damn day for being blessed by being her mom. She's the most amazing person I've ever known. And I feel the same way about her friends--especially those in wheelchairs. Because THEY can see straight to the soul of a person where those of us who are considered "typical" are so caught up in the human trappings in front of us. YOU ARE BLESSED! God chose YOU to teach others how to look past what they see.

I happen to work 2 streets west of our Denver chapter of the Cerebral Palsy Foundation. There is a very active chapter in London:

Cerebral Palsy Association of UK
6 Market Road
London, UK
N7 9PW
Phone: [phone]

Damn it, Jo, why couldn't you live here? Go out and adopt some surrogate parents. I did! And you know something wildly wonderful? I met them at another church across town. N (my adopted mom) spoke to me as she saw D8 playing in the baptismal font. She said wistfully, "Let her be, because God blessed her with her gifts. I should know, because I had a son just like her."

Jo, her son had CP and was the true light in the lives of many. His life became even more important after his death... he was murdered by his caretaker, who decided that he hated his job. Everything I've learned about forgiveness has been learned through them.

His life was not in vain. She's been able to transform the gifts he possessed in life and death to change things for other disabled people. Particularly those who have CP.

I've met and befriended many more people who feel the way I do and she does than those who feel like your mum. WE are the rule, not the exception... and I encourage you to put yourself out there and start meeting people who are awed by your tremendous accomplishments.

You're a gifted person, Jo. A real blessing in life. So market yourself this way, and I can promise you that you'll get everything you want, need and deserve... and then some. Because you are truly worthy of being loved.

Screw Andy. It's time for Jo.

And I hope you receive my message with its true intention.

God bless!

Betsey