You're the one whose H has moved over the other side of the street and wants to 'date' you, right? I looked at your thread the other day. I have been separated from mine since April 02, divorced in December 04, but we've been a couple on and off for the whole time, other than 1 year in the middle when the legal stuff was too nasty.
One of my friends, Martha, was in the same sitch as us too. Her H left her and their DD but then they reconciled after D, had a commitment ceremony and another DD. Apparently she tells me now that her H wants to re-marry her properly (he gave her rings ages ago, which she wears, and they live together), but she says no in case he's D's her again, LOL.
Nice to speak to someone else from the UK. I love Devon, it's a lovely place, much nicer than Nottingham, LOL.
Wow! That sounds great and I don't just mean the physical stuff. All of it was right on the mark. But despite that...keep expectations not too high and be patient. Perhaps you should listen to Andy and just go with the flow without thinking of a future.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
I went to the clinic and they reckon my eggs are done already so they told me to inject myself with HCG tonight and be at the hospital at 8.30am wednesday, the operation will be at 10am.
They told me I am nil by mouth from Midnight Tuesday. They told me I will need 3 to 4 days rest afterwards and that for the first 24 hours after I go home, they want someone else with me at all times.
Great, I wasn't told this before. I'm not sure if Andy would do that for days just yet, although I reckon he would do the 24 hours with me. I also have friends who would.
Also, they told me no sex afterwards for SIX WEEKS!!!!! Ugh! Do you reckon I could persuade him to have me tomorrow night before I go in, LOL?? I could tell him he has to make it good enough to keep me going for 6 weeks, LOL.
I have tried to contact him re the operation time and being there with me or at the very least, looking after DD4, if he can't get a babysitter at such short notice, but he isn't answering the phone and his cell phone cuts straight to the answer machine, which means he's out and either at a home ed thing or doing something to do with his dad.
The thing is, if I can't get hold of him by this evening, I will have to make other plans with my friend, as the nurse is phoning in the morning to see if I need a cab.
I have gone into panic mode, trying to get hold of him. I know logically he should be back later and he doesn't even know about the operation yet, but the suddenness of it has thrown me into panic.
They're taking my eggs out so if he fertilized me now, the other woman would end up carrying his baby instead of her husband's! That's a bit weird. LOL.
I thought up the title because the nurse said they were going to leave my huge egg to get 'hard boiled', LOL.
In fact, when I mentioned it to DD4, she told me she wanted egg and chips for her dinner
I'm thrilled in one way, as I only have 2 more shots to have tonight and then that's it, no more injections!!! (apart from when they knock me out). After I have these last 2 shots, I will have had 24 shots including the chemo ones I had to stop, and about 7 or 8 blood tests on top of that.
I am SO sick of needles, I NEVER want to see another needle as long as I live!!
I finally managed to get hold of Andy (but not like THAT, just give me time, LOL ) and he says he has asked Rose if she will babysit but she won't because she already babysat this week already, 'too much', she says, thankfully his EX-OW won't help him, so he's stuck and can't be there when they do the operation.
He was apologising and saying 'I know I'm not much use.'
I said 'No way, of course you are useful; you are hear for me emotionally if not physically and that helps.'
I gave him the run down of what would happen so he suggested that I go to his place tomorrow afternoon with DD4, stay the night and have the car pick me up from his place. He would stop at home and watch DD4 for me, then after I have recovered from the op, I would go back to my place and he would meet me here and spend a day here with me so I can have someone with me while I recover.
He couldn't fetch DD4 from here then as he has all this home ed stuff on all day so he thought if I went there, he could carry on with that like normal and then just come home us afterwards.
Anyway, it works. So I'm going to be at his tomorrow night and that gives me golden opportunity to tell him about the 6 week sex embargo and see how he responds
Last night I waxed my bikini line, shaved my legs, manicured all my nails, smoothed over the stretch marks with anti-stretch mark cream, and rubbed chamomile and green tea into my face. Now I just have to wash my hair and paint my toe nails.
I've packed my bag for the hospital and chosen a nice outfit I like, to come home in. So that's me sorted for this operation. The surgeon is a man so I can't let the side down even if I am unconscious
There's apparently satillite TV in my room so I reckon I'll feign side-effects for a bit and stay in longer
Andy dearest is not feeling great (because of his dad) and apologised to me for being 'offish', except he wasn't offish, just normal - or maybe he's offish so much that I think that's normal!
I told him he wasn't offish, just tired, and not to worry, I was proud of the way he handled his dad's death and thought he was coping really well, considering.
So I'm off to town later to pick up some flowers or a box of chocolates or something for him to cheer him up. I'm gonna wear a dress I know he loves with a red lace garter on my leg and a pair of see-through panties, and later, I've got that Christmasy babydoll I'm gonna wonder around his house in
I am planning on giving him the time of his life tonight, esp. since the dr has barred me from sex for 6 weeks. Thought it might cheer it up too (Andy, not the dr, LOL).
Can't update you for now as I'm going to Andy's later and then it's my operation tomorrow and after that Andy will be here watching me so this site will be out for a couple of days.
See you, and if I don't, it's because I'm either with Andy or the dr's have killed me.
I'm back, the operation is done. Actually I have decided I can't be with Andy like this. It's too much work and I'm not happy and..well, anyway, I thought I'd write an account of my operation.
Then I'm going to just keep up the Dream thread because people seem to like that, but I'm not going to journal my sitch with Andy as I just want off the rollercoaster. So this is my last personal account.
I went to Andy's town and DD1 met me outside the court house (useful land mark). We went to Andy's place and he was sorting out all furniture and stuff from his dad's house. I met Alan (Rose's bf).
EX-OW1 came round to pick up a TV that was Andy's dad's that she wanted. I hated her being there but was polite nonetheless. They both smoked in the kitchen for ages. Needless to say I didn't join in.
Later on after she'd gone we watched films. There was no physical 'action' like I originally thought as he was so stoned from the drugs that he couldn't get it up, and admitted this was the case. I just laughed and said well you won't be able to for 6 weeks now so you've been let off the hook.
We talked about Andy's dad's personal effects (he had 15 Christmas puddings in his cupboard - he was obviously planning a BIG Christmas party this year). We talked about my upcoming operation.
Andy bought me a chocolate bar because he said I was on food curfew from midnight so to make the most of it. I thanked him for it.
I went to sleep on the sofa. He went upstairs.
In the morning I got up at 6.30 so I could have a cup of tea before the 7 o clock no fluid curfew. I intended to just leave before any of them woke up, but Andy got up at 7 o clock (very unlike him) and said he didn't want me to go to the hospital without him saying goodbye.
He wrapped a blanket round us and we cuddled/kissed for 1 hour until the cab arrived at 8. Then I kissed him goodbye, put on his jumper and rushed out of the door. My DD's were standing upstairs in their PJ's asking why I was wearing daddy's clothes. I told them because I am having an operation.
Got to the hospital late (traffic queues miles long), and was told to report to Byron ward, which I did do. A nurse asked a few questions, tagged my arm with ID and a warning label saying I react to anasthetics. Then I was told to undress and put on this gown and dressing gown.
I sat there in a chair for a bit. There was a satillite TV but I was too scared to watch any.
Then they wheeled me to the operating room in a wheelchair and this woman in scrubs checked my warning label and went off to converse with the surgeons about what other drugs they would give me to counteract side effects. All these surgeons were milling around in hats with multi-coloured frogs on, hat isn't the right word, but it goes round their head). There was classical music on but I was terrified, and clutching Andy's jumper like a comfort blanket.
They then asked me to get on the operating table, which was really narrow with huge lights overhead and at this point I lost my nerve a little. I got on the table but then flipped out about falling off the table. All these nurses were round me, saying 'you aren't going to fall, it's okay.'
Then this surgeon came up to me and said 'You're donating eggs, that's good of you.' My legs were in this missionary position and I was looking up at these lights glaring at me and I suddenly thought, 'I wonder if now is a good time to back out.'
He told me that he was the one who was going to remove the eggs and then he put a drip in my arm and a heart monitor on me. He said the drip would sting but I didn't feel any pain.
As soon as the drugs went in, I started tripping and all the nurses walked away and I was on this table, tripping like I was on E, terrified I was going to fall, and I just shouted 'Hand!!' at them and they got it and came back and held my hand.
Then I felt a bit whoozy and got vague consciousness back so realised that they must have done the operation. I had an oxygen mask over my face. This voice said to me 'Have you had IVF before?' I said no. Then the voice said 'What do you want, a boy or a girl?' I realised that she thought I was the recipient mother and I panicked for a moment that they had done the embryo transfer on me instead of the infertile woman. I was so out of it I just said 'Don't care.' and then I went unconscious again. I could see this crucifix behind my eyes, really large. I dunno why, as I'm not religious like that, so it was an unusual symbol to see.
It took me 2 and a half hours to wake up from the anasthetic even though the actual operation only took 10 minutes. I was drifting in and out and hearing them saying they were worried I was so unresponsive and they wanted to keep me in overnight.
Finally at 12.30 I woke up properly and the dr from the IVF clinic came to see me. He said they got 5 eggs from me, that there were others but they couldn't reach them. I was a bit upset because they wanted 12 and I felt like I failed an exam, or something.
I asked him if 5 was enough. He said that was fine and they could still give 2 each to each woman. I don't know what they will do with the spare one. He gave me this HUGE bunch of flowers; no one has ever given me that many flowers before.
I could hear someone shouting for the embryologist.
At 3pm I managed to have a drink and something to eat, so they took the drip out and told me I could go home. I fell asleep in the cab on the way back and when I got back to Andy's place, Alan let me in and I just fell asleep on the sofa.
I woke up again at 6 o clock and Andy got back at 6.30. He was lifting furniture with Alan and EX-OW1. The first thing he said was 'God, you look rough.' I was in quite a bit of vaginal pain from the puncture holes, and stomach cramp. EX-OW1 said 'Andy, that's bloody nice, isn't it? She's just had surgery!' I smiled at her and said 'Oh, it doesn't matter.'
They went in the kitchen again and lit up more cigarettes before he'd even asked how it went, but eventually it occured to him to ask. I was mightily pissed off. He made me a drink and we sat in the front room. I told him what happened and about the surgeons in frog hats.
He was still sorting out more furniture from his dad's place and I just slept on the sofa.
Several hours later I was suddenly starving so we ordered in extra hot pizza and ate it between us. He was sitting with his arms crossed, all defensive and tense. Bearing in mind he'd been kissing me for an hour that morning, I asked what the matter was.
He started on about how his dad had just died and he didn't need this and that was why we had got it together, because he 'lost his mind'.
I told him I was disgusted that he could use his dead father as an excuse, but not entirely surprised as this is so like him, and I told him he was an insensitive pig for talking like this when I have just had an operation and that all he thinks about is himself.
Of course it escalated into an argument about the kids (again) with him saying all these insulting things about my mothering and I just said 'Fine then. I shall pack in my current job, apply for others abroad and then just leave. If you think I'm so crap at it I won't do it at all; you have all the kids, I leave the country and you never have to hear from me again.'
I have been seriously considering applying to a voluntry agency for 3rd world countries and I'm not joking. I then rounded on him for 'always criticising' me.
He was still smoking dope at the time, so I just took the cigarette out of his mouth and started smoking it myself. He looked at me all 'gone out'. This is the first time I have ever smoked, the first time I've ever tried a drug, and that was just hours after the operation. He was completely driving me nuts.
He thinks I dabbled in cigarettes before but I never have. I managed to smoke without choking, so I basically sat there for the rest of the night, smoking his dope, and then he said I could sleep in his bed because of being post-operative so I threw my clothes on the floor, collapsed in his bed and he went to sleep on the sofa.
Next morning he walks in while I'm still lying there naked, to look for his socks, and I get up and we chat while I'm getting dressed as if that is totally normal.
He makes me a cup of tea, then DD1 asks if I am going to 'JJB' play area with them. Andy makes this remark about how I can go as their mother.
I tell DD1 that I am not welcome, and we erupt into another row. EX-OW1 comes round again to babysit while Andy is in college. I tell him he doesn't need me to mother them when he's got her so why bother, and I went home.
I'm not supposed to exercise or work for 3 to 4 days now, but I had to take DD4 to nursery. I was in pain when I dropped her off so one of the other mum's drove me home.
I'm now relaxing (trying to) for a bit before I have to go and collect her.
I am not going to try to be there for this family anymore, but at least the infertile women got 5 of my eggs and I did something worthwhile for society.
Do you reckon I could persuade him to have me tomorrow night before I go in, LOL?? I could tell him he has to make it good enough to keep me going for 6 weeks, LOL. 
