Started on a new shut down drug last night for the egg donation and literally 10 minutes after the shot, that thing with my ears happened again, even though it's a different drug. I took enchinacea and vitamin B6 to try and counteract it. Luckily I am not in pain at the moment but I have to have another shot at 10pm so I'm waiting to see what happens. The stimulation drugs are okay, I have had no ill effect with those so far. I am hoping I will only have to have them a few more days and then it won't wreck my ears. They are hauling me to clinic every day and say it could be anytime soon.
Work wise I have finished proof reading, completed my orders, still doing the helpline etc. Most of my GAL activities have stopped due to FIL's death and being at the IVF clinic so much. I am feeling very down but that might be the hormones they are pumping me with, the m/c etc, basically everything the last couple of months.
Andy arrived with the kids this morning and then went to FIL's house to empty some of it and also to fax copies of the death certificate to his creditors etc, and to pick his stuff up from the hospital where he died.
I took the girls on a long walk (about 2 miles) and we went to the grocery store and bought ingredients for cakes, and DD3 spent her pocket money.
Then we came back and I baked fairy cakes with them and they all took it in turns to do various things. Even DD4 had a go at stirring the mixture. Then we made icing topping and sprinkled the cakes with little 'hundreds and thousands' in the shape of stars.
After that I helped DD2 with her English workbook (English Exercises for 7 to 9 year old's) and I helped her with some of the questions.
Then we did 'design your own book cover' which was great since I'm an author, LOL, and they had to design their own book cover for their favourite story and then describe what they like about the story.
For once they didn't mention any touchy topics so I wasn't worried about what Andy would think and was a bit more relaxed than usual, but still struggling at various points in the day with 'down' feelings.
Andy came back at 7.30pm, looking exhausted. I got him a coffee and the girls rushed at him with the tin of cakes to show him! He said 'Wow, did you make these yourselves?' and then he looked at me with a kind of 'I really like that idea', sort of look. I blushed. They were all enthusing about what they'd done during the day so I figured they must have had fun. Makes a change that it actually worked with them, for once.
Then Andy asked how I was so I told him I felt rough from the injections but other than that, fine. He squeezed my hand and told me he was sure the operation would go just great.
I asked him how he was and he talked about his dad and how going back to the house was hard and how he couldn't sleep and couldn't eat because his appetite was just gone. I tried to empathise as best I could.
Then DD1 started complaining because she'd got her socks wet so Andy told her to take them off. She said no, because she 'couldn't go outside naked' (she is a drama queen, that one).
He grinned at me and said to her 'Why not? Your mother does.'
I can't believe to said that to our 9 year old DD!! (He was referring to the time when we ML and then I followed him outside in the garden whilst still naked and kissed him goodbye). DD1 of course didn't get the significance and just laughed, but it made my guard go up a little and I snapped at him 'Actually I don't do that for people that don't like me.'
He responded 'I never said I didn't like you and I never said I don't find you attractive.'
This was way too close for me and not a discussion I wanted to have in front of DD1 so I said 'Well, actions speak louder than words.' and I walked into another room.
While the girls were getting their coats/shoes, Andy asked to borrow DD4's safety seat, so I got that for him, and he looked at me with those 'ILY' eyes and said 'Go on, admit it. You want to touch me.' I blushed and looked the other way. He laughed at me. I said 'I'm not in the habit of throwing myself at people.' He said he was just jesting, 'but seriously, though, I really like your hair like that, you should have it up more often.'
(DD1 had plaited it for me again).
I thanked him for the compliment and on the way out the door he just turned and stared at me for the longest time. I shouted 'Good luck!' at him (with the funeral).
They are all gone now, even DD4, as the funeral is Friday and it's in another town so they will travel there tomorrow. I miss DD4 already.
