Hanging on this Merry Go Round #4

[WCW]

I don't check this very often but today my horoscope says - Taking the easy way out will just hurt you and your sweetheart in the end. Your relationship has much potential, but you're not going to tap into it if you go out of your way to avoid dealing with the hard things.

Must be why I said what I said to H this morning after his typical reaction to being physical with me, cold and distant. We were both awake early, on opposite ends of the house. Of course no way was H going to even come close after yesterday. But I did have a better answer to his question yesterday, 'what is this going to accomplish?' and gave it to him. I told him that sometimes just being physical can make you feel better, and I feel like that area of my life is being wasted. But I know that to you I've never measured up or been good enough for you, especially when it comes to sex. I know that it does no good to be physical with you, it just makes you hate me more, and I wish you didn't always try so hard to hate me. He sat down but didn't say anything, and I walked away. He left to go hunting.

I made fresh warm cinnamon rolls and they are just out of the oven, mmm good.

Been thinking about Christmas and presents. I want a new digital camera, we could both use it for personal and business. The good ones are expensive. I don't usually ask for specific things. Part of H's LL is expensive gifts, until last year he spends big bucks on gifts for me. I buy him nice things but the total dollars is less. If he GIVES expensive gifts does that mean he WANTS expensive gifts? I figure my options are:
1) Tell him I want one and see what happens
2) Ask him to go halves with me and get it for each other
3) Buy it for him but then if he walks out I don't get to use it
4) Buy it and put it under the tree with both our names on it

Thoughts and ideas please?

The auxilliary heaters in the house finally have fuel again. I've left it up to H to fill the fuel jugs this heating season, I've been doing it for 12 years. It's an expense he can have instead of me this year. He forgot on Wednesday. He forgot on Thursday. He forgot on Friday. At the end of every day he says he wished he could remember to fill those jugs. I set the jugs by his truck before he left yesterday. He remembered. A warm house again, feels pretty fine.