Dodging the word daggers being thrown at me.
I joined H in the shower this morning, it's nice being off work today and the chance for that. I also suggested working up an appetite for breakfast, and while he maintained disinterest we did go to bed and . It was all up to me, but he also *let* me. Just as I pulled him over on me and we......
he asked 'and what is this going to accomplish?'
me "a good feeling."
H "a good feeling how?"
me "a physical good feeling."
I wonder if he saw the tears stream down my face. Maybe the minute physical feeling isn't worth the emotional pain, he knows how to make me feel dirty and wounded for wanting to be with this man.

Doing house stuff today I don't get much chance to do. We are invited to some friends for pie and coffee today, H said he would like to do that. In the meantime he acts huffy, and has gone outside to pound around on stuff before he leaves for the afternoon. If nothing else I have drawn him back to thinking about us and what we are doing or not doing. Maybe I am forcing the issues and making him deal with things he won't ever address. Some type of emotions and response is sometimes better than nothing at all.

It's a pretty snow this afternoon.

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.