Hanging on this Merry Go Round #4

[WCW]

Wow, now I know why I don’t watch much TV. Got home with basically enough time to change clothes and head out for the riding lesson with the enthusiastic girl. While I was pulling on my boots I flipped the TV on, it was Dr Phil taking the wedding ring off a crying woman and he was saying 25 years of deceit, 25 years of lies and manipulation, 25 years of abuse, and now you have one minute of peace, do you think you are worth it? Oh man, I had to get out of the house. So I finish outside tonight, it is cold and rainy and wet and the hole in my boots let the rain and mud (and other stuff) seep into my socks. Ick! H comes home and helps me finish up.

Wow again! We’re both in the house very early tonight, I have a slight moment of panic wondering what in the heck are we gonna do all night? Flip the tv on again, it’s CMA on tv. Anyone watch that? The radio is on all day at work, and it’s become filler noise at this point, but there’s an occasional song I really listen too. Tonight the TV is full of country music. Oh my, was everyone singing to ME? Seemed like it, every song had a special message just for me and H. Alan Jackson did a remake of “you look wonderful tonight”. I never knew that song until H and I were dating and he played it for me, wow, tears well up, I glance at H, he’s being stonefaced. Martina McBride did a remake of Kris Kristofferson (isn’t he great?) Help me Make it thru the Night. Elton John and Dolly Parton (is that a pair?) sang ‘if everythings been said I’m going back to bed, turn the lights out when you leave.’ H made a snack for both of us, I said thanks, he even collected the dishes and washed them, I said thanks again. Just a few other light comments back and forth a few times. Thanks Opti, I’m using your techniques you posted from your coaching session – I’ll call it the dash and pass method.

Wow a 3rd time, I’m packed, bills made out to put in the mail, I am ready. So ready. I wish I could have spent the night snuggled on the couch next to H, sharing a bowl of popcorn on this cold wet night. I wish we could share the bed, and a hug and offer a kiss when I leave. I wish I could say I love you and be careful, I’ll miss you and already can’t wait to see you again, and he’d say me too. I wish I wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night feeling like he was there with me and then harsh reality is I hear him walking away down the hall. I wish he would just care enough to ask me about this trip. Oh wait! 11pm, I’m in bed, and he asks. What am I driving? Do you think that car will make it? Did I get it serviced? (heck, I haven’t even opened the hood since I got it) Are you driving or flying? I guess he wasn’t listening when he was sitting next to me and these plans were discussed on Sunday with the other folks, so I filled him in a little bit.

Thank you all my dear DB friends. Thank you for your help and support and advice and suggestions and encouragement to send me on my way. By the way, my destination is Oklahoma, and the abbreviation is OK. That’s me. TTFN