Hanging on this Merry Go Round #4

[WCW]

kml - you got me, I don't dress sexy at all. I dress for comfort, but it's how I dressed when I met H too and he was sure attracted to me then! It's something I need to work on, fit sexy in with my chore clothes. There's a task for me! I did lose a lot of my confidence over the years, lost who I was and am. I listened to H talk about himself and another young lady here that helps us alot, and it got to be all about him and her and them doing the training. I was just the chore girl while they took all the glory. I listened to people talk about how great H is, his wisdom, his talent. It's hard to remember I have it too when all I hear is how great he is. But, I started turning that around last year, and I am feeling better about me. It does cause problems when I know I am right and I won't back down from the right decision, even if H doesn't agree but sometimes it just isn't worth the hassle. Part of my lack of confidence comes from being financially dependent on another person, it takes both of us to make this whole thing float. I've never been in that position until the last few years. It has really rocked me. Need to build more confidence, absolutely!

I've noticed this week that H uses I/me more often in conversations when he talks with other folks. For instance last night, the neighbors stopped in to talk about renting land and hay supplies. H told them how much hay HE was feeding and if HE would have enough, never said WE even though I stood right there. Bugs me. But his behavior all week has bugged me, distant and cool. But it's okay right now, I went back to the tanning bad for a 2nd time and stayed in two minutes longer this time, it's just fine not to have anyone touching my back today.

Plenty to do outside and the weather is great this morning! I'm going to drive the skidloader with confidence and look sexy doing it!