Wow. I just came back from lunch, read a few more pages in Love Must Be Tough. One sentence jumped off the page when the author was talking about infedility in a marriage. "better to have a big blow out in the beginning rather than a slow bleed". I've been in a slow bleed for so long, I'm anemic. I hope the rest of the that book will give me something to feel better about. And maybe I've known it all along and haven't faced it yet. In my fantasy, I keep thinking H will just one day come to his senses and grab me in his arms and tell me the last 26 months have been a nightmare for him also and he wants to make up and get on with putting our life together back together. Reality - slim to none that is going to happen, at least not for a long time yet.
Alright, I'm tired of being gloom and doom lately. I've got some days off of regular old work and routine, will see some wide open space and mountains, have a chance to spend QUALITY time with my H, and I'm gonna have fun dammit! (Can anyone tell me how?)
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
